Drivers Do The Darndest Things

1) This is what you get when you never watch NASCAR or the Dukes of Hazzard. And, we suspect, eat Ben and Jerry’s straight from the container. According to the Beaver (Pa.) County Times, when a car parked so close to Rebecca Karen Beatty’s that she couldn’t get behind the wheel, Beatty told her six-year-old niece to back the car out of the space. The young driver hit two cars and pushed one of those into a third. Had she been a NASCAR or Dukes fan, Beatty would’ve known to climb in through the open driver’s side window. This assumes she’d fit.

2) If you’re lost, asking a police officer for directions is not a bad idea. Unless, that is, you’re driving a stolen car. That’s exactly what 20-year-old Brentyn Mitchell did in Palm Springs, Calif., according to a report on the website of KPSP television. Mitchell was already on probation. That tells you something.

3) This is not a recommended technique for dealing with a vehicle you consider a lemon. According to seacoastonline.com, a Massachusetts man was angry that a Portsmouth auto dealer wouldn’t take back a vehicle he considered a mechanically unsound. In response David Cross returned to the then-closed dealer and got revenge. "I hit the first $25,000 car I could see," Cross. "I didn't hit a car under $20,000. I took out seven vehicles, including my own." Here’s hoping Cross looks good in prison orange.

4) Go jump in a lake. “Okay, if my navigation system says to.” According to a report in Orange News, Austrian Petra Lang drove into a lake while following her navigation system’s directions. The report said she was looking for a shortcut to a swimming lake. She got an opportunity to swim. (It’s unclear if she drove into the lake she was seeking or another lake.) So what’s the big deal? Other than her van was a write-off and she (or her insurance) had to pay for a crane to pull the vehicle out of the lake, we mean.